Esthar: 100 ways to dominate the world
by Professor Pimp
Summary: Esthar aint happy about the lunatic pandora incident. Alot of violence and stuff.


Esthar: 100 Ways to dominate the World  
  
---  
  
The once beautiful, clean, crystal clear city of Esthar, now a ruin. The  
mighty Estharian army held off and slaughtered the wave of monsters, but  
some escaped to the forests of the world. The inhabitants of the city  
scavenged through the rubble of their homes, and prepared to rebuild their  
city, but not before...  
  
*** ESTHAR CITY PRESIDENTIAL PALACE-  
MILITARY STRATEGY ROOM ***  
  
"Declare war now! I will mobilize the troops for attack! We shall  
burn Deling City, crash Winhill, and dig up the desert prison!" the  
General said, his face red, covered in sweat, and looking pretty desperate.  
  
"We cannot just go and kill off the Galbadians.. its not their fau-" a  
senator started. "Dont even bother to finish! Who attacked our city, soldiers,  
and citizens as the Lunatic Pandora passed overhead? Who resulted in the  
deaths of many, destruction of our glourious city, and eradication of the  
lunar base with the help of the lunar cry? GALBADIA! Want me to spell it out  
for you? G-A-L-B-A-D-I-A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the General screamed.  
  
"I have an idea.." another senator said. "Hire SeeD, money under the table.."  
  
---  
  
"Headmaster Squall, we have a call from the Esthar Presidential Palace, from the  
congress.." a communications officer said. "They want to hire us, they will pay  
3 billion gill for a full scale assault on Deling City.."  
  
"Why would they want to attack Deling City?" Squall said. "They believe the Galbadians  
have committed an act of war by openning invading their territory and attacking their  
city. Esthar is rebuilding their military and city and cannot hold the attack theirselves.  
They also want this entire mission to be under the table." the officer said.  
  
"Tell them ill gladly accept their gil.. pop it in the microwave.. heat it up real nice..  
turn it sideways.. and stick it straight up their candy ass! What they are trying to say is  
'SeeD, attack Galbadia and take all the blame..'" Squall said. "They also said if you might  
be interested in them upgrading our Garden to travel at Ragnarok speeds without handling like  
a piano, and able to fly over cliffs and stuff.. as well as build an Estharian Garden. They also  
will give you the Ragnarok as a bonus."  
  
The sentence processed in Squalls mind: "Decent mobile base... More money and room to train SeeDs..  
the Ragnarok.." "I guess it wouldnt be a bad idea after all."  
  
---  
  
"IDIOTS IDIOTS IDIOTS!!!!" the General screamed at the senate. "You are sucking up to  
the President, who is galbadian might I add, and you are paying more money as well as even  
more to build a garden, giving away our flagship, and upgrading their garden so they can  
fly over us and drop a bomb on our city? It would have been more cheaper to launch our  
nukes at Deling! A few million gill for an unexpected firework show in the Deling territory!"  
  
"But other countries wont hate us.. If we launch the nukes they'll be moaning about it  
like nobodies business!" a senator said.  
  
*** MEANWHILE, AT THE PRESIDENTS OFFICE ***  
  
"YOU GUYS DID WHAT!!!!!!!!!!???!!!?!?!?" Laguna screamed at a senator.  
"Well, we knew it would be the best decision against Galbadia who destroyed  
ou-"  
"WE CAN'T JUST HIRE SEED TO KILL THEM!" Laguna said. "Sir, I know the action  
is extreme, and you are Galbadian yourself, but its the congress ruling.."  
  
"That iz enuff!"  
  
Everyones mind said 'oh god' as they found out who said that. Dr. Odine..  
  
"Well if it isnt Dr. Odor" Laguna said, and slapped him on the back. The Doctor  
squelled, and raised his fists to Laguna. "One wordz from you and youz is gonna.."  
Dr. Odine started. Laguna covered Odines mouth. "Anyways, CALL OFF THAT ORDER!" Laguna  
yelled. "No, its to late.."  
  
"YOU IDIOTZ! WHY DONT YOU UZE THE LUNAZITIC PANDORA!" Dr. Odine yelled.  
Everyoned turned their head to him. Ward ran over and sat on the doctor, a faint  
cracking sound was heard as the massive body sat on the little Doctor. "You killed him." Kiros  
said. Ward made a look on his face which said "Why not?". Everyone nodded in agreement.  
  
---  
  
The SeeD helicopters hovered over the Galbadian seas. The bright lights in the  
dark night horizon indicated they were aproaching Deling City. The nervous SeeDs  
swallowed their fear, grabbed their weapons and prepared to assault.  
  
The helicopters arrived in Deling City. The confused Galbadian soldiers scrambled to  
attack. The SeeDs dropped from the helicopters from rope, and began to fire at the  
soldiers. They had the order to take no prisoners.  
  
The battle heated up as the soldiers poured out of the city barracks, and police  
cars arrived at the scene and blocked off the roads. The SeeDs fired the guns, sliced  
with the swords, and attacked with the other weapons they had been given. Bullets,  
bodies, and magic spells shot everywhere. The flow of Soldiers was endless, and reinforcements  
wouldn't arrive for another half hour.  
  
Amongst the SeeDs was Squall. The others were to chicken to go on the first assault, but  
Squall himself went to help raise moral. He swung his gunblade at a soldier, the blade  
cutting through the armor of the Galbadian, slicing him in half. Squall had never been  
exposed to this scale of violence. Sure, he had killed monsters, but he always hated to  
kill other humans. But hey, the idea of having the Ragnarok in his hands sounded very  
good. Squall turned around to see an approaching soldier. The soldier fired his machine  
gun at squall. Squall's shell magic swung into affect, deflecting the bullets. Squall  
leaped at the amazed soldier, and with one quick stroke, he took the soldiers head off.  
  
Things got better for the SeeDs as the soldiers began to retreat, but the SeeDs didnt  
have time to party. An explosion amongst the crowd sent 3 SeeDs airborne. Squall and  
the others noticed Artillery and Tanks in the distance. "CHARGE!" Squall said, pointing  
his gunblade at the threats. Everyone ran towards the attackers. Squall saw a soldier operating  
one of the howitzer artilleries. Squall jammed his sword into the back of the soldier, and turned his  
attention to the tank which was pestering his comrades. A BGH9000, the latest addition. Just like  
the one Squall fought at Fishermans Horizon, only in better condition, more powerful, and with  
Ultima Weapon like stats. Squall ran up to the tank, openned the hatch, and jumped inside. He saw 3  
soldiers in the tank operating it. Squall sliced one of the blue uniformed ones, and jammed his sword  
into the back of the other blue uniformed one. The red uniformed one rushed at Squall, but a SeeD jumped  
into the tank and shot the soldier in the head. Squall nodded to the SeeD, who jumped back outside, Squall  
followed, when he noticed things were looking back. Galbadian reinforcements had arrived. Soldiers on   
hummvees drove by, gunning down a few SeeDs.  
  
Squall held back the approaching soldiers, but some overhead airplanes began to fire shots at the ground  
troops, taking out SeeDs and Galbadians alike.  
  
"Damn it, we need reinforcements" Squall yelled, as a sudden rain began to fall on the battlefield. Squall  
noticed it wasnt just rain, but the drops were also mixed with the airborne blood of his comrades.  
  
---  
  
"The SeeDs aint doing so good" a military advisor said. "I told you, we gotta nuke em  
and we gotta nuke em NOW!" the General added.  
  
"But.. nukes aint good.." a senator said.  
  
"Who cares if they are good? Launch em'! ANNIHILATE! DESTROY! KILL! KILL! KILL-"  
"SHUTUP GENERAL! The SeeDs wont like it if we launch a nuke while they are in there!" the  
same senator said. The general smashed his part of the table with his fist.  
  
---  
  
The rain fell over the battlefield, the drops of water landing on the bloody corpses  
of Galbadians and SeeDs alike. Squall stood with his surviving men, they were hopelessly  
outnumbed. Squall took out his comlink and established a connection with Esthar.  
  
"Esthar- We NEED immediate reinforcements. Ours have not arrived yet, we assume they  
have been delayed.."  
  
---  
  
"We have just got a report that the SeeDs arent holding that long." Kiros said, walking  
into Lagunas office. "That iz becuz the Galbadianz have larger numberz!" Everyone screamed,  
Dr. Odine was allive again. "I thought Ward killed you." Laguna said. "Hah! My body iz immortal!"  
Dr. Odine said. "Dr. Odine, please, military isnt your branch.." Laguna started.  
  
"Its mine." the General said. "Mr. President, can you sign this paper?"  
"Sure" Laguna said, failing to read the paper. He signed it and handed it the the general.  
The general got a look of happiness and ran off. "Laguna, you just signed an order to launch  
nukes." Kiros said. "WHAT!?!?!!?!?" Laguna screamed. "Hah! Thatz the way to do itz!" Dr. Odine  
said. "Dr. Odine, please put a sock in it." "Why dont youz put a so-" "shutup, Shutup, SHUTUP"  
  
Laguna ran to the missile silo inside the presidential palace.  
  
---  
  
"Sir! Missiles are ready for launch!" a military guy said. "Begin countdown." the General said,  
awaiting the launch. A guy at some big computer began to talk into a microphone.  
  
"Missile Countdown activated, arming the missiles, prepare to launch in 10.."  
  
Laguna burst into the room. He threw a few grenades but realized he was killing his own men.  
  
"9"  
  
A few guards tried to stop Laguna, but realized who he was and backed off.  
  
"8, 7, 6.."  
  
Laguna searched despertly for the abort button.  
  
"5.. 4.."  
  
Laguna noticed it, and ran towards it..  
  
"3.." the countdown guy said, who was blackened and his hair messed up by the  
grenade explosions.  
  
"NOOOOOOO" Laguna said, jumping in slow motion and pushing the button on the wall.   
"Missile launch aborted!" the countdown guy said over the speakers. Laguna wiped the  
sweat off his forehead and returned to his office.  
  
---  
  
"This is the first mission we ever failed.." Squall said outload, he was in a helicopter  
with a mere 3 other survivors. "I made a bad order, and so.." Squall said. He pulled out his  
sword, stood by the openned exit door of the helicopter. "NO SQUALL!" a SeeD said, the same  
SeeD who saved Squall in the tank. Squall saluted, and jammed his gunblade into his chest.  
He fell over, out of the helicopter, his body landing in the ocean below.  
  
---  
  
The general tipietoed to the launch computer. "Restart Launch.. confirmed"  
  
An explosion ripped through the missile silo, as a very disturbing shaped missile took off  
toward Deling City.  
  
---  
  
"Laguna, look at the radar, we have reports of a missile taking off our silo..." an officer said.  
"Oh my god, it looks like a giant.."  
  
"Dick! Whats that?" an Estharian pilot said in his jet fighter.  
"I dont know, it looks like someones..."  
  
"Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object! It is a long smooth shaft, complete with.."  
a Galbadian sergeant said to his men.  
  
"Two balls!" an umpire said. "Look, up in the sky!"  
"It looks like someones.."  
  
"Wang! Why aren't you paying attention?" a chinese teacher said to a student.  
"I was distracted by the giant, flying.."  
  
"Willie! Whats that?"  
"I dont know son, it looks like a.."  
  
Back at the Presidents office. "JOHNSON! Tell SeeD to get the hell out of Deling!"  
"They already are, sir."  
  
---  
  
At Deling City..  
  
"I.. Sir Seifer.. am the new Sorceress.." Seifer said over a crowd of Deling City citizens, everyone  
look at him with a disturbed look. "Err, sorcerer.. Anyways, I shall dominate the world! HAHAHA!"  
  
Suddenly the nuclear missle landed on Seifer, and Deling City was wiped off the map.  
  
***EPILOGUE***  
  
Galbadian: Their capital layed in ruins, and their armies were scattered and broken. SeeD, now lead  
by, gasp, Fujin, wiped out the remaining forces, got their money, Ragnarok, and the Estharian Garden  
which was named 'Squall' after the famous leader who 'died in action'.  
  
Timber: Just as they enjoyed their moment of indepence, Esthar took the city over. The trains, Timbers  
famous landmark, where replaced by Mag-levs.  
  
Winhill: Esthar really had no point in taking over this city. So they just launched a cruise missile at  
it and wiped it off the map. It took the world 10 years to find out it had disappeared.  
  
Fishermans Horizon: They joined Esthar because Dobe didn't want any violence. Shortly after being  
taken over by Esthar, riots and fights about the way people should dress plaqued the city.  
  
Shumi Village: The shumi's joined Esthar because of Laguna. Shortly after Laguna ordered them all to  
be wiped out because he believed in humans being the only race worthy of being intelligent.  
  
Balamb: Balamb joined the Esthar empire, and SeeD became Esthars special force. Balamb Garden never  
got its upgrade.  
  
Dollet: Esthar admired the wealthy Dollet Dukedom, so they just took them over by force and added Dollets  
treasury to Esthars.  
  
Trabia: Esthar sank the Trabia continent because it was useless to them. Trabia Garden was finished off  
shortly after it had been rebuilt. Esthars involvement was covered up by a 'Lunar Cry' excuse.  
  
Esthar City: Esthar city was rebuilt so it didn't look like a black widow when viewing from overhead.  
The city now looks like a giant *scroll up to the missile scene*  
  
---  
  
Rinoa, shocken up by Squalls death, eventually joined a terrorist faction. They stole a nuclear bomb from  
Esthar, went to Warship Island, dropped it under the Earths crust, which caused the Earths crust  
to explode. All life on earth was wiped out. The debris of the crust hit the other Final Fantasy worlds,  
and wiped them out as well..  
  
***  
  
Ward awoke in sweat. He took a sip of water. "..." *what a nightmare, I dreamt I was a fatass. Wait, I am*  
  
THE END 


End file.
